i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
