you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
