Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
