I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
even my farts smell like vagina
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
