singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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