Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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