If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
