Just mADE A PArabola og urine
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize