Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
