Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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