yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
