come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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