oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I wear drunk well.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
