they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
if only i could text you this smell
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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