if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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