Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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