I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
