yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sacagawea was the original milf.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
