that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
