Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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