What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
