She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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