butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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