I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
