she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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