just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
