Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
