Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
