nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
