idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So much rum. So many feels.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
