remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Boobs speak an international language.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
