Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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