I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
