lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
