the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
