Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
