Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
