I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
