I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
