Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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