You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do vagina's smell?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
