Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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