We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
