tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
