i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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