Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The struggles of a small town man whore
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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