I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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