She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
