i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
