Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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