I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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