I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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