We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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