you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
